10 Ways to Annoy Cops

  • Say, "Damn, officer, you must have been going fast to keep up with me!"
  • When he approaches you, stare at his gut and say, "Hmmm. I thought cops had to be physically fit."
  • Sway and ask if his bulletproof vest protects him from projectile vomiting.
  • Lie on the ground and ask him to draw your outline in chalk.
  • Throw his nightstick and tell the police dog to fetch it.
  • Ask him if you can use his pepper spray to spice up your pizza.
  • Tell him you wanted to be a cop, but decided to graduate high school instead.
  • When he asks you to walk the line, "Riverdance" instead.
  • Instead of pleading the 5th amendment, plead the 13th or 16th.
  • When he asks for your license, say, "Oh sure, officer, can you hold me beer for a sec?"